At what age did you take your daughter to her first Gynecological appointment? Asking for a friend. Last week I sent a text to a dear friend of mine who happens to be a Nurse Practitioner for women’s health. She also has three daughters, so I’m guessing she knows her stuff. Remi was scheduled for an appointment later that afternoon, but I started wondering if maybe I was taking her at too young of an age. So at 8am that morning I texted my friend.
I am so glad you did. I wish my momma did. I had my first child 4 months before my 16th birthday. I had no clue about birth control, sores or none of it. It didn't take long for me to figure it all out. After I had my son, my momma decided then to talk to me about birth control on the way to my 6 weeks check up. This is how naïve I was...I was SHOCKED they had something to prevent pregnancy besides condoms. SHOCKED! So, I would say, you can NEVER be too soon. I took my daughter shortly after she started her cycle. And I highly encourage EVERYONE to do the same. No, not every teenage girl is the same but almost every teenage boy is. :) Kidding, I'm just kidding. But seriously, if your teenager is boy crazy--just do it!!!!!!
Thank you for the encouragement. It's hard to know what to do sometimes, but in this particular area, I suppose early is better than late. Hugs, friend!
Well, my daughter is 14 and I am dreading this appointment more than she ever could. She is going to freak out at the thought of someone having to examine any parts that don't show with clothes on. She is almost even bashful with me, and she came out of my lady parts! Thank you for telling me now that I can wait until she's 18 because I'm sure she won't be sexually active until she's 30 ;)
Haha! Some are like that, even with moms. For girls like that, the first appointment can be quite the horrifying experience. But, it's good to get it done, and then the next appt maybe isn't quite so bad.
DEAD!!! This is hilarious! I took both of my girls at 15. One ob drew her a picture....as if!! and I learned my lesson and took the next daughter to a woman gyno. I think I was more embarrassed than they were. And of course, I know my oldest daughter(married with all the answers) discusses it with more detail with her baby sister than I would, and thats fine with me! I don't want to know anymore than I already know.....
I should know better than to read emails from you while eating breakfast!! My husband thought something was wrong because I was laughing so hard. I nearly spewed my Diet Coke all over the kitchen table.
My mom didn't explain anything - when I started my periods at 12 I panicked to which she says "oh that" and sat everything I would need to "take care of it" on the counter and walk out. I decided the girls and I would talk about everything. And boy have we - I sometimes think "I didn't want to know that" but would rather them ask/talk to me and get honest, raw and real answers than misinformation from friends. Their school also provided great information for you to use.
My youngest got the sex talk at the doctor too - we had already gone over all that but the doctor decided she would share the "scary stuff" while talking about my daughters irregular cycles. Both daughters went for their first gyro appointment at 18. Listening to them tell about the exam was hilarious - of course they were mortified!! I told them that was nothing wait until you have a baby - to which both decided they were not going through that and would adopt.
It's great you have a relationship with your girls where you can talk about all that stuff (even the stuff you really don't want to hear!!!) And you are not the first person who has said the first gyno appt made their girls decide they were fine with not having babies! Thankfully what we decide is going to happen in our youth is not always what we end up doing. Otherwise, things might be quite interesting in my life right now!!! :)
I didn't go to my first appointment until I was 19. I was still a virgin, but was about to get married. I went before my wedding so I could get on birth control. I've always heard by 18, if your daughter isn't sexually active. However, I think each mom probably knows the best time for their own daughter & should take them when they feel the time is right.
My mama took me to my first appointment when i was 13ish. I'm definitely glad she did even though I knew everything already. The exam portion of my first appointment that was a bit scary and still like to avoid it like the plague until last minute necessary lol been to several doctors and still awkward as hell and nerve wracking
Unfortunately and regrettably I don't have a daughter but if I did, I think I would follow the same tack as you. Although sans the open pack of ranch dip. Your Remi is one very lucky girl to have a mamma like you, Melissa.
Please take your daughter in between 13 and 15 and every year after that. She doesn’t want to talk to you about some of this stuff. Respect her. Give her someone to talk to about this stuff so she’ll be able to make informed decisions. Watch over her.
I wasn't sexually active until I was over the age of 22. I went to my first gyno doctor after I became sexually active. I was so nervous but the doctor met with me in his private office and his nurse was in there so at least the FIRST time wasn't with him down at my crotch! Anyway, after talking in his office for a few minutes, he has his nurse show me to an exam room and she gives me the paper gown and the drape to put over myself while waiting for him to come into the room. I was in there waiting for about 15 minutes or so when the nurse comes back in and says that the doctor had to leave to deliver a baby and we'd have to reschedule the pap smear to another day!!! UGH, REALLY???! I was so close to getting through it and NOW I had to reschedule the most humiliating part to another day?!
I can say I went at 18. I had the fear of God planted inside me at an early age from my parents and from church, so I literally broke down into tears at my first Obgyn appointment. I was terrified. That’s all I can remember from my first appointment. Thank God, the doctor and his nurse was my long standing family doctor.
Girl, that first appointment is traumatic no matter what the age I think. I'm glad it's not as bad long term as we make it out to be in our minds the first time!
You did the most correct thing ever Momma. So funny that this edition of Stretch Marks popped up in my email cuz I just walked out of my annual GYN appointment. Too damn funny! I’m so glad you found a good, informative doctor that she liked too. My Momma took me at 15. Of course there was only one female doctor in town so that’s where we went. Little did I know until about 10 years later that she was a damn quack. Every person that went to her, especially young girls were told they had yeast or some kind of infection which lasted like 6 months and it came from being sexually active. Well my Momma flipped. I had not been, truthfully, sexually active but caught hell for it anyway. Like I said about 10 years later and married as you would talk to people and hear their story it was a total repeat of yours. You would say OMG you went to that quack too. Nowadays young girls need that added boost of live information thrown at them. I totally commend you on taking her at this age. Way to go Momma Melissa!!
In today's time I think you did the right thing.
Whelp... maybe you postponed that "sexually active" timeframe onset a few more years?
I sure hope so!!!
I am so glad you did. I wish my momma did. I had my first child 4 months before my 16th birthday. I had no clue about birth control, sores or none of it. It didn't take long for me to figure it all out. After I had my son, my momma decided then to talk to me about birth control on the way to my 6 weeks check up. This is how naïve I was...I was SHOCKED they had something to prevent pregnancy besides condoms. SHOCKED! So, I would say, you can NEVER be too soon. I took my daughter shortly after she started her cycle. And I highly encourage EVERYONE to do the same. No, not every teenage girl is the same but almost every teenage boy is. :) Kidding, I'm just kidding. But seriously, if your teenager is boy crazy--just do it!!!!!!
Thank you for the encouragement. It's hard to know what to do sometimes, but in this particular area, I suppose early is better than late. Hugs, friend!
You could go around being a motivational speaker. You speak the truth. Thanx Gal!
Well, my daughter is 14 and I am dreading this appointment more than she ever could. She is going to freak out at the thought of someone having to examine any parts that don't show with clothes on. She is almost even bashful with me, and she came out of my lady parts! Thank you for telling me now that I can wait until she's 18 because I'm sure she won't be sexually active until she's 30 ;)
Haha! Some are like that, even with moms. For girls like that, the first appointment can be quite the horrifying experience. But, it's good to get it done, and then the next appt maybe isn't quite so bad.
DEAD!!! This is hilarious! I took both of my girls at 15. One ob drew her a picture....as if!! and I learned my lesson and took the next daughter to a woman gyno. I think I was more embarrassed than they were. And of course, I know my oldest daughter(married with all the answers) discusses it with more detail with her baby sister than I would, and thats fine with me! I don't want to know anymore than I already know.....
I should know better than to read emails from you while eating breakfast!! My husband thought something was wrong because I was laughing so hard. I nearly spewed my Diet Coke all over the kitchen table.
My mom didn't explain anything - when I started my periods at 12 I panicked to which she says "oh that" and sat everything I would need to "take care of it" on the counter and walk out. I decided the girls and I would talk about everything. And boy have we - I sometimes think "I didn't want to know that" but would rather them ask/talk to me and get honest, raw and real answers than misinformation from friends. Their school also provided great information for you to use.
My youngest got the sex talk at the doctor too - we had already gone over all that but the doctor decided she would share the "scary stuff" while talking about my daughters irregular cycles. Both daughters went for their first gyro appointment at 18. Listening to them tell about the exam was hilarious - of course they were mortified!! I told them that was nothing wait until you have a baby - to which both decided they were not going through that and would adopt.
It's great you have a relationship with your girls where you can talk about all that stuff (even the stuff you really don't want to hear!!!) And you are not the first person who has said the first gyno appt made their girls decide they were fine with not having babies! Thankfully what we decide is going to happen in our youth is not always what we end up doing. Otherwise, things might be quite interesting in my life right now!!! :)
I didn't go to my first appointment until I was 19. I was still a virgin, but was about to get married. I went before my wedding so I could get on birth control. I've always heard by 18, if your daughter isn't sexually active. However, I think each mom probably knows the best time for their own daughter & should take them when they feel the time is right.
My mama took me to my first appointment when i was 13ish. I'm definitely glad she did even though I knew everything already. The exam portion of my first appointment that was a bit scary and still like to avoid it like the plague until last minute necessary lol been to several doctors and still awkward as hell and nerve wracking
Unfortunately and regrettably I don't have a daughter but if I did, I think I would follow the same tack as you. Although sans the open pack of ranch dip. Your Remi is one very lucky girl to have a mamma like you, Melissa.
Please take your daughter in between 13 and 15 and every year after that. She doesn’t want to talk to you about some of this stuff. Respect her. Give her someone to talk to about this stuff so she’ll be able to make informed decisions. Watch over her.
My first appointment was at 20 years old when I got engaged and I wanted to have time to figure out which birth control was right for me.
I wasn't sexually active until I was over the age of 22. I went to my first gyno doctor after I became sexually active. I was so nervous but the doctor met with me in his private office and his nurse was in there so at least the FIRST time wasn't with him down at my crotch! Anyway, after talking in his office for a few minutes, he has his nurse show me to an exam room and she gives me the paper gown and the drape to put over myself while waiting for him to come into the room. I was in there waiting for about 15 minutes or so when the nurse comes back in and says that the doctor had to leave to deliver a baby and we'd have to reschedule the pap smear to another day!!! UGH, REALLY???! I was so close to getting through it and NOW I had to reschedule the most humiliating part to another day?!
Ugh. That's the WORST!
I’ve also heard 19+. My daughter never would have been willing to go at that age! Haha. But as you said - your work is done. For now...today anyway!
For today, yes! Tomorrow is another day with new challenges. We'll see how it goes!
I can say I went at 18. I had the fear of God planted inside me at an early age from my parents and from church, so I literally broke down into tears at my first Obgyn appointment. I was terrified. That’s all I can remember from my first appointment. Thank God, the doctor and his nurse was my long standing family doctor.
Girl, that first appointment is traumatic no matter what the age I think. I'm glad it's not as bad long term as we make it out to be in our minds the first time!
Very true. I’m really glad you have that ability to have a relationship you do with your daughter, on all levels.
You did the most correct thing ever Momma. So funny that this edition of Stretch Marks popped up in my email cuz I just walked out of my annual GYN appointment. Too damn funny! I’m so glad you found a good, informative doctor that she liked too. My Momma took me at 15. Of course there was only one female doctor in town so that’s where we went. Little did I know until about 10 years later that she was a damn quack. Every person that went to her, especially young girls were told they had yeast or some kind of infection which lasted like 6 months and it came from being sexually active. Well my Momma flipped. I had not been, truthfully, sexually active but caught hell for it anyway. Like I said about 10 years later and married as you would talk to people and hear their story it was a total repeat of yours. You would say OMG you went to that quack too. Nowadays young girls need that added boost of live information thrown at them. I totally commend you on taking her at this age. Way to go Momma Melissa!!
Oh my. That's an interesting experience to look back on. Thanks for the encouragement, friend!
Omg I’m dying! Lol 😂
I have 3 boys and 1 girl, we had to start the “talks” with my 10 year old and it’s literally the worst. 🤦🏽♀️