Y’all. I’M GETTING A PERM!!!!

Just hush and let me finish!

Oh, wait. That was it. I’m getting a perm.

Now listen, I know y’all are going to write me 18,000 emails about how damaging it will be to my hair. And I care! I do! I love y’alls emails and I’m thankful for your help! But yeah, Imma do it anyway.

Wendy has done my hair for many many years and the other day she said (and I quote) “Fine. Fine. I’ll give you a perm. I don’t want to. I don’t think it’s a good idea. People will look at your fried ends and blame me. I’ll lose my license and all my clients and I’ll have to file bankruptcy due to my business going under, but if it will make you happy.” And then I was all, “It will! Thank you!!”

I know no one thinks this is a good idea, but I’m telling you guys, I am going to SINGLEHANDEDLY BRING THE PERM BACK! You don’t think I can do it…but watch me.

And just so you know, this isn’t a little Orphan Annie perm.

It’s not Roseanne circa 1990.

It’s not even Whitney in I Wanna Dance With Somebody.

This is totally new! I promise. In fact, let’s not call it a perm, let’s call it a Body Wave. There? Doesn’t that sound much more appealing? Everyone needs a good body wave. Body wave sounds like a beach with beautifully tanned people on it. People with good hair. People with beachy, salty, sexy waves. People with? Body waves! (See what I did there? Full circle, baby.)

So yeah, give me a little while to grow my hair out just a weeeeeeeee bit longer and then we’ll do it. It will be a sad day for Wendy – what with the demise or her business. But it will be a happy day for me because I will be ushering in a new era. Well, not a new era, per say, because perms were a pretty big deal when I was elementary school, but I will be ushering in a bygone era. Yeah, that’s it! Just like Tik Tok has now decided that the Claw clips are back in fashion, I’m here with the Body Wave.

That’s right! Some of you want to tell me how I must have lost my mind to be considering a perm, but when you found out TikTok was bringing those little suckers back, you were allllll over that, weren’t you? And who can blame you? There are some 90’s trends that are just aching to come back.

Tik Tok has cleared the Claw clip.

I am working on the perm.

And what about you? What 80 or 90’s fashion can we expect you to bring back? Let us know in the comments.

Stretch Marks

CAN YOU WATCH MY BODY WAVE??