Touch Grass.
And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
I was having lunch with a friend who told me that she knows someone who has a severe case of severe road rage.
The reason I found this funny is because she used the word severe twice. I said, “Did you know you used the word severe twice?” And she said, “Yes. That was definitely intentional.”
And honestly? It felt appropriate.
Because doesn’t it feel like we’re living in a severe case of severe everything?
Severe opinions.
Severe outrage.
Severe road rage.
Severe comment sections.
Which brings me to one of my favorite modern insults: “Touch grass.”
It’s usually delivered with the tenderness of a brick through a window. As in: “HEY YOU JERK! WHY DON’T YOU GO OUTSIDE AND TOUCH GRASS!”
aaaaah, classy.
The irony is delicious. Someone is red-faced, typing in all caps, blood pressure spiking… while telling another person to go do the very thing that is known to lower blood pressure.
Because here’s the craziest part: touching grass actually does something, YA JERK!
Spending time in nature has been shown to reduce cortisol (our stress hormone), lower heart rate, and decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression. Even 20 minutes outside can measurably shift your nervous system. Researchers studying “grounding” or “earthing” have found that direct skin contact with the earth may reduce inflammation and support parasympathetic (rest and digest) activity.
Translation: your body calms down.
I take Dr. Derek Shepherd (Shep) outside twice a day to throw balls with him. I throw, I fetch, he watches and wags. Intentionally, I often go out there barefoot. When my bare feet press into grass, something ancient clicks back on. The static quiets. The mental tabs close. Your emotional plane lowers a few thousand feet.
You breathe deeper without trying.
Your jaw unclenches without permission.
Your shoulders remember they aren’t earrings.
And maybe that’s why “touch grass” hits so hard as an insult. Because somewhere underneath the aggression is a truth: we are overstimulated, over-opinionated, and under-connected to the actual earth beneath us.
We are arguing in digital rooms while forgetting we have bodies.
So here’s my gentle, non-aggressive invitation:
This week, go outside.
Take your shoes off.
Stand in the grass for five minutes.
Throw a ball to a dog.
No phone. No podcast. No performing calm. Just stand there.
Notice your breathing. Notice your thoughts. Notice whether something softens.
You don’t have to move to a cabin in the woods.
You don’t have to become a forest monk.
Just… touch grass.
And if it lowers your blood pressure before your next heated opinion?
Well.
That would be severely wonderful.
Love.
Mel & Shep