Tiny, Little Hilarious Musings

OH MY GOSH! I know I have not talked to y’all since God was a boy and for that I sincerely apologize. But summer, man. Summer comes along every year and just begs and pleads with me to be a part of it.

I spent this summer swimming in my backyard and staying in bed all day watching Scream marathons with Remi. I sat very still and quiet while Rocco showed me his favorite YouTube gaming stars (even though I was singing George Strait songs in my head.) And the four of us took road trips to Houston whenever we wanted really good sushi or really good shopping.

And although I missed y’all…I regret none of it.

I was reminded of how sweet summer was when it came to waking my kiddos up on their first day of school. That’s kinda like having a root canal at home, huh? It’s pretty painful. They get so mad at me! Which I don’t understand why, I’m not the one who made up the notion of them going to school at 7:50am. I think that’s just dumb. Kids can learn at 9am even better than 7:50am. Wanna know how I know? Because my kids learned when they were just babies that mommy sleeping till 9am makes for a much more pleasant day than a mommy who sleeps only till 7:50am. So, yeah.

The first day of school at Radke Ranch was pretty uneventful except for the part where David and I did NOT have to drive them to school. PARENTS OF TEENAGERS WHO DRIVE ALL THE SIBLINGS TO SCHOOL, Y’ALL BEEN HOLDIN’ OUT ON ME!!! That is some luxury right there.

One of the things I did on Monday evening once the kids were all home, was text the women in my family on our group chat. It’s a group chat called Family Girls and as much as I love them – I abhor group texts. But it’s not their fault. It’s just that no matter what the question is, my mom always has a follow up question that honestly could have been answered had she just looked at any of the aforementioned texts. Examples include…

So that movie we are going to today at 6:50, that’s PM right? (bewildered face emoji)

I know we were just talking about what everyone is making for Thanksgiving but can you all repeat that to me one more time? (sad face emoji, turkey emoji)

Does anyone know what time my nail appt is on Friday? Thought maybe I mentioned it to one of y’all because I forgot to write it down (fingernail polish emoji)

But nonetheless, I wanted to know how all of their babies did at school. So here is what I said…

What is one funny / sweet thing your child said after they come home from their first day? Send us their quote along with a picture of them from today.

And now, without further ado, and because my nieces and nephews are just the cutest in the world, I now present to you “Out of the Mouth of Babes: The Back-to-School Edition.”

“No one even recognized me today, mom. Because look at me, I’m such a blond!”

“This is the first year in all my PreK classes and in my Kindergarten class that I didn’t have either of the Kayleighs! YaY!! I’s cause I prayed.” (Sometimes we all need a Kayleigh-free year, amIright?)

“Mommy, I’m pretty sure Mrs. Hardy has superpowers like Jesus.” (She’s gonna need ‘em!)

“What did you learn today?” “Stuff. And they made me drink something called Jitter Juice…” (I bet they did!)

“I had a good day but I don’t remember NUFFIN’”

“Bruh, day one and one of these girls already be likin’ me.” (I’m hoping he takes English this year.)

“I almost hit someone when they were walking through the parking lot! But it was John Doe, so it would have been TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!” (I was forced to write John Doe instead of her crush’s actual name or she would have thrown herself off the roof of our house.)

“I farted today while sitting on the rug and all the boys laugh…I thought it was gonna be quiet, but nope!”

---

Please share with us the funny thing your kiddo said after day one. I love to hear all of your fabulous stories! I will laugh for hours at the thought of you having to continue raising that child and it will make me feel better about my situation.

Also, once all the Family Girls had sent these texts in and everyone had commented, my mom was the last one to reply:

These children are adorable! When do they all start school?? (school book emoji, girl raising hand emoji, turkey emoji)