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Rachell S.'s avatar

I think the show did an excellent job at depicting being in abuse and not seeing it. Even when you see it clearly everywhere else. It also shows how your inner circle doesn’t see it or support it for various reasons. Sometimes as the abused you protect your family from the truth - out of shame or even just to spare them from your burden. You have no “help”. No one to save you. Saving yourself is so overwhelming especially when you’ve been conditioned to think that the abuse is all you deserve.

I have been loved and loved well by my family. And I still subjected myself to abuse for 18 years. Subjected my children. When I left I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life. I was completely unaware that I was suffocating all those years. And I was lucky that I had created a path where I could financially support myself and my kids. I didn’t have that extra layer of challenge navigating the system.

But I still paid a huge price staying all those years. I’m dealing with PTSD. Teens with PTSD. Life is hard. It happens so quick. When you look back and realize how much you wasted allowing yourself to become broken and your kids broken it’s very hard to look forward with hope.

Three years out and I still feel I spend every day surviving. And I saw very little physical violence, thankfully. But every day is a struggle for me or the kids. We don’t trust. We have anger. We feel hopeless at times. We turn on each other. We blame. We crumble. We make mistakes. But, we are together. We also love. We have joy. We laugh. And we can breathe.

I hope one day my kids understand and forgive me. I hope one day I can forgive myself.

I never understood or appreciated the word triggered until I watched this. Sending love to all of those who wonder if they are being abused and questioning if they just expect too much. You don’t. You deserve love and kindness. You deserve to breathe.

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Linda Meade's avatar

Sometimes painful to watch but it also made me stop and count my blessings.

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