MAID
Looking for something new to watch? Want something to watch that will give you all the feels as we head into this upcoming holiday season? Want something kind of like Hallmark but not all-the-way Hallmark, but still makes you happy but also makes you want to sing and dance and laugh a lot??
Well, MAID isn’t it.
But that’s not to say that it isn’t awesome…because it is. MAID is one of the best Netflix shows I’ve watched in a long while. And that’s really saying something because, Bridgerton.
MAID is not a comedy. It isn’t a who-done-it. It isn’t true crime. And at no point does she enter a game that will either pay her bills or shoot her on the spot. (Thank you, baby Jesus.)
MAID is a drama and it is sad and at times it can be downright depressing. But it’s also real and eye-opening about our system and how flawed it truly is for those who are single moms or coming out of abusive marriages or just scraping by. At the end of MAID I wanted to go and change the system, but I also felt hopeless and powerless to do so. I imagine that changing Governmental systems and policies for those who need work and safety and a home and a life devoid of poverty would feel a lot like pushing a boulder, wrapped in barbwire, up a hill littered with landmines. In a word: impossible.
The acting in MAID is super impressive and I am now a big Margaret Qualley (who plays the lead) fan. Playing the lead role of Alex, Qualley is in almost every single scene. By the end, you care for her. She is smart and strong and she is tired of cleaning up the messes that everyone in her life seems to leave at her door, especially her mother! Interesting note: Her mother is played by Andi MacDowell, who is her mother in real life; you can feel the affinity they have for one another through the screen.
If you haven’t watched MAID, I highly suggest you do so. If you have, what did you think? For me, I found myself stopping throughout the entire series and just breathing a prayer of gratefulness; gratefulness for my home, my marriage, my circumstances. But I also prayed to have my eyes open to the needs of others. In a world that can be so enthralled with the haves and the have nots, it took me seeing how someone like Alex – and her child – lives, for me to be reminded of the Glennon Doyle quote that I have loved for so long…
“Privilege is being born on third base.
Ignorant privilege is thinking you’re there because you hit a triple.
Malicious privilege is complaining that those starving outside the ballpark aren’t waiting patiently enough.”
I think the show did an excellent job at depicting being in abuse and not seeing it. Even when you see it clearly everywhere else. It also shows how your inner circle doesn’t see it or support it for various reasons. Sometimes as the abused you protect your family from the truth - out of shame or even just to spare them from your burden. You have no “help”. No one to save you. Saving yourself is so overwhelming especially when you’ve been conditioned to think that the abuse is all you deserve.
I have been loved and loved well by my family. And I still subjected myself to abuse for 18 years. Subjected my children. When I left I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life. I was completely unaware that I was suffocating all those years. And I was lucky that I had created a path where I could financially support myself and my kids. I didn’t have that extra layer of challenge navigating the system.
But I still paid a huge price staying all those years. I’m dealing with PTSD. Teens with PTSD. Life is hard. It happens so quick. When you look back and realize how much you wasted allowing yourself to become broken and your kids broken it’s very hard to look forward with hope.
Three years out and I still feel I spend every day surviving. And I saw very little physical violence, thankfully. But every day is a struggle for me or the kids. We don’t trust. We have anger. We feel hopeless at times. We turn on each other. We blame. We crumble. We make mistakes. But, we are together. We also love. We have joy. We laugh. And we can breathe.
I hope one day my kids understand and forgive me. I hope one day I can forgive myself.
I never understood or appreciated the word triggered until I watched this. Sending love to all of those who wonder if they are being abused and questioning if they just expect too much. You don’t. You deserve love and kindness. You deserve to breathe.
Sometimes painful to watch but it also made me stop and count my blessings.