I Just Want the Best for Your Eyebrows

I saw a meme the other day that said, “When I was a child, I never thought eyebrows would be this important.”

I could not agree more.

I am going to tell you a cold, hard, truth: Eyebrows never matter until they do. Here’s what I mean by that…

I have a friend who has terrible eyebrows. (We will call her….Julie……Because that’s her name.) Anyhoo! Julie has never cared about her eyebrows. And why should she? She has great hair. Great style. A killer personality. If you’ve got all that going for you, eyebrows seem like a moot point, am I right? So, one night, we are in a hotel in Houston Texas for our annual girls’ trip and I say, “Julie, I am going to move slowly towards you with an eyebrow pencil. I want you to remain calm.” Because she is a pretty happy and trusting person, in general, she thought nothing of it. She did not know that I was about to transform her life. I am that kind of friend.

For the next 10 minutes I drew, erased, drew again, colored in, highlighted and gel’d her brows. When she finally stood up and looked in the mirror, she stared straight ahead for about 18 seconds, without a word. Finally, she screamed, “I’M NOT FAT!”

This is the miracle-working power of the brow, my lovelies. And it’s high time we talk about it!

So many of us are like Julie. We spend money on the hair, the diet, the skin regime, the pouty lips and the laser treatments, but we. never. even. think. about. the. brows. They go neglected. Just two overplucked caterpillars hanging out above our eyes. As if they don’t matter? They matter!

Doesn’t anyone remember Anna Faris in House Bunny? “THE EYES ARE THE NIPPLES OF THE FACE!” They matter. Do not spend $80 on an eye cream but then completely neglect the 17 stray hairs that are currently arched above your eyes. Do not get Botox for your fine lines and wrinkles but remain steadfast that ZZ Top eyebrows will be returning to fashion at some point. (No, they won’t!)

Maybe you – like me – overplucked. Maybe you were a child of the 80’s and you can remember when “pencil thin was in.”

Or maybe you are more like my friend Deanna, who had never really paid much attention to the fact that one eyebrow went down to its full length, while the other one ended just above her temple. Last summer she thought she was having a stroke; we told her she was finally paying attention to her brows, and that was how she always looked.

Please don’t think that I’m being a mean girl about brows. This is how sordid my past is: I not only overplucked mine for the majority of my life, but my mom also taught me how to brush them up with a comb and then clip them with scissors. This is something that I hear a lot of women, with thick brows, have to do. But we are not those women! My mom and I barely had brows as it were. What were we thinking? My eyebrows looked like I had a military flat-top for all of the 90’s.

In 2015 I decided to have Microblading on my brows. Hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. I love them! Now, microblading is not a “forever” solution, like tattooing. Here is the difference: Eyebrow tattooing is a permanent procedure, microblading is not. Microblading is a semi-permanent procedure that can last anywhere between one to three years. Unlike tattooing, microblading allows you to change the shape and style of your brows as often as you like.

Micro-blading has allowed me to change things up every three(ish) years, as I see fit. If the style begins to change, then guess what? I get to change with it. I have had my eyebrows done for six years now and I have changed them once in all that time. It wasn’t even a drastic change. I just went in and had them touched up and changed the color a bit. But it was worth every penny.

Now, just because I know you will ask, I will let you know that I had my brows done by a wonderful friend who I trust completely. Reagan Williamson at Allure Aesthetics in Lufkin, Texas (look them up on Facebook) is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Her work is flawless, and she explains every detail so none of it is lost on you. This is not an ad for her, mind you. I just want you to know that there is a very good chance someone in your area does the same kind of work, were you to want to go that way.

The days of having to wake up and draw my brows in are gone. They are always done. They are done when I swim, when I shower, when I wake up, when I’m tired. And I cannot tell you the number of comments I have received over these stinkin’ eyebrows. I love the work that Raegan has done for so many women cancer survivors, as well. Losing hair - yes, even brows – is such a big deal to these women and Raegan treats every one of them like a queen as she helps them find their confidence through her work. Microblading is not cheap, it will run you around $500 depending on where you go and what exactly you have done. But in the last several years I have spent a total of about $40 outside of that on a brow gel (Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel - $22 – Ulta.com). Before microblading I was buying pencils and fillers and tweezers and colors…it was a chore.

I read an article the other day that said, “Your eyebrows say more about you than how much you like using your tweezers. They are signifiers of your self-confidence, assertiveness, logic, organizational abilities, motivation, and how you make decisions.” I don’t know about you, but that seems like a lot. Eyebrows now help with my decision making skills? So, when I cannot blame anyone else for binging Bridgerton on Netflix in one day, I can blame my brows? DEAL!

See? I told you brows were important. Maybe the reason you can’t be assertive and stand up to your mother-in-law is because you’re still trying to work an eye pencil. Who knows?

Listen, if microblading or tattooing is not something you would ever consider, that’s okay! There are products out today that we never dreeeeeeamed would be available to us in the 80’s and 90’s. You can have the best-looking brows on the block by simply going to Ulta or Sephora and trying a few out. You don’t have to spend hundreds to look like Kim K, trust me. When Raegan asked me who I wanted brows like, I said, “Any Kardashian. Absolutely any of them.” And now look at me! I look like Kim and Khloe’s 2nd cousin once removed, Tammy Wayne Kardashian, who grew up on a farm pulling potatoes. But hey! At least I look like a Kardashian. (Don’t be jealous.) And as the sweatshirt I passed in the mall the other day said: Don’t worry about me, worry about your eyebrows.

Love y’all,

Melissa