Growing up, if I was good at the Doctor, I got a treat. The treat was always food. Dairy Queen, to be exact.
Growing up, if I was good at the Dentist, I got a treat. The treat was always food. Again, Dairy Queen.
Growing up, if I made all A’s, I got a treat. The treat was always food. Mexican food for dinner!
Growing up, if I did all my chores without complaining and practiced the piano every single day, I got a treat. The treat was always food. Pizza it is!
But isn’t there a scripture that says something like, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” (1 Cor. 13:11)
Yeah….I’m not big fan of that one. Seems like a lot of work. Seems like a lot of re-training of the mind. AND AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!
So today, when I do something good, like fold laundry, I get a treat. And the treat is always food.
Or when I get onto my child without cursing or throwing things, I get a treat. And the treat is always food.
Sometimes I get so proud of myself for saving money by not eating out all week, that I get myself a treat. And the treat is…..
I think you get the picture.
My lovelies, listen to me: Food can no longer be the reward.
This is probably not big news to some of you. Some of you have matured and grown up and don’t need a Blizzard from Dairy Queen just because you were able to stop at all the red lights while driving. But it is huge news for me! Because when food has always been the comfort – you have to find other comfort. And when food has always been the friend – you need to make a different friend. And when food has always been the prize – you need to come up with a better prize.
This has been a new way of thinking for me. To date I have lost 25 pounds. Wanna know what I told David?
“David, when I hit 20 pounds I want to do something special!”
“Absolutely, what do you want to do?”
“Have cheese dip until I puke!”
But food can’t be the prize anymore. It can be the fuel. It can be the energy. But it cannot be the reward.
Please know that I will never – NOT EVER – be the person who tries to convince you there’s just as much reward that can be found in a walk in nature as in a cookie dough blizzard. Bull! No it can’t. Nature is terrible and sometimes it makes you sweat. So I will not try to disciple you into finding your reward in the stillness of a yoga class or in the beauty of the outdoors. But I will try to suggest that we find something that makes us feel like we’ve won.
Like a pedicure.
Or a new hair color.
Like a brand new pair of tennis shoes.
Or the purse we’ve been eyeing at TJ MAXX.
Like a movie in the middle of the day.
Or an iTunes card for $20 spent entirely on Candy Crush!
A new book.
A massage.
A nap.
These are the rewards now. These are the things we look forward to. It can no longer be food.
Maybe I’m preaching to myself. I probably am. That’s okay. I need to hear this.
Melissa, the next time you will be rewarded for your hard work is at 40 pounds. And when you reach that goal you will go buy yourself a brand new purse or a new pair of shoes because purses are your weakness and all of your shoes are ugly. Then you’ll reach 60 pounds, and you’ll get to go on a girls weekend with your besties and stay in a hotel and stay up way too late laughing. And then, when you reach 80 pounds, you get to reward yourself with a new swimsuit that doesn’t have a dress attached to it because that’s always been something you’ve wanted; a swimsuit that shows off your cleavage instead of hiding your thighs. Oh! And guess what the reward is for losing all 93 pounds? A long and happy life. Watching your kids grow up and meeting their future spouses. Its family vacations that don’t hurt your joints or leave you watching on the sidelines. It’s being married to David for the rest of your life and enjoying every minute of it. That’s the reward now. And it’s about as sweet as it gets.
“…I put the ways of childhood behind me”. It’s time. Food is no longer the reward.
I love you,
Melissa
I find this powerful as a parent! Maybe that ice cream for being good for a haircut isn't a great way to reward your 4 year old. Instead spend the money on a new hot wheels car that costs the same! Maybe changing the reward system now will help later on in their life. Lord I know I needed to hear this and more importantly need to APPLY it!
I love how you write. You feel about food , as a reward, comfort, friend, stress reliever ....just like I do. I need to lose weight for health, joints, breathing easier but most of all for me to get dressed in anything I want...not something that covers me and my extra weight. So I will do this journey with you Melissa.
I live on the face of the Big Horn mountains in Big Horn Wyoming. I am a widow of 12 years who married my wonderful husband at 18. We were married 48 1/2 years when he died of pancreatic
cancer. I have stayed on this beautiful mountain in our 3 story log home with state/ Federal land surrounding me. I got so thin when he was sick and for all the years after doing all the work this place requires but sadness still overcomes me at times and I comfort myself with food so now on this 5’ frame I have 20 extra pounds. We will do this together Melissa 😊
As Always, Margie