BRA$$Y

Here are the biggest mysteries of my lifetime:

Who killed Jon Benet?

How did OJ get a ‘not guilty’ verdict?

What happened to the Malaysia Airlines Flight 370?

AND WHO THE HECK HAS FOUND THE BEST PURPLE SHAMPOO?????

Purple shampoo is here in a big way. And it isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Blond highlights too brassy? Purple shampoo.

Color needing a tune-up? Purple shampoo.

Need to give your grey hair a little zing? Purple shampoo.

Guy you’re totally not interested in won’t quit texting? Purple shampoo.

The problem is, they are everywhere. Everyone makes a purple shampoo now, which I should be thankful for, but instead, I am frazzled at. Purple shampoo is like The Cheesecake Factory menu. Someone help me!!

I find that purple shampoo either loves me or hates me. It either tones my hair just perfectly, but it feels like straw the next day OR it turns it the color of a dirty nickel but feels like silk. There is no in-between for me. And then, of course, there’s the purple shampoo that doesn’t dry my hair out or turn it a nasty silver color – it, instead, deposits only in specific places on my head (“Oh, Melissa, I love what you’ve done with the upper left side of your hair.”)

I thought about creating a list of every purple shampoo that I have tried up to this point, but honestly, why bore you? Suffice it to say, there’s been a lot. But as only Bono can sing: I still haven’t found…what I’m looking for.

So, I’m coming to you.

What’s your favorite brand? What will make me look less Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, more Margot Robbie? What will not dry my hair so bad that it will crunch like a potato chip? And what will not be so expensive that I can’t send my kids to college?

Thank you, village! I cannot wait to see your comments. And also, I will blame it on you 100% if I still don’t look like Margot Robbie after one shampoo and rinse. (David will be pretty upset with you all, as well.)

Mel