Am I Rude??
This morning on our Rise & Radke morning show, the Radke Family membership community was helping me out with an etiquette question that I had. I’ll ask you the question that I asked them…
I was invited to a dinner party. I asked the host what I could bring, and she told me “Absolutely nothing,” but I am from the South and it is in my blood to bring something. I brought a chocolate cake that I had bought at a local bakery. When the night is over, if there is over half a cake left, do I leave it or take it back home?
Hear me, I did not want the cake. I did not need the cake. A chocolate cake sitting in my house is a baaaaaaad idea. But I was just unsure as to what the rule was. I was told by an overwhelming majority that you leave the cake with the host.
Got it.
Okay.
But!!
Then someone added that if you bring the cake on your own personal cake stand you take it back home with you. (Great. A caveat. I’m awful at remembering caveats.) And apparently, I’m awful at etiquette because after our morning show I did a little research and found some other etiquette tips that are most often overlooked, and ya’ll…..I might be rude.
Did you know…
You are not supposed to cut up your entire meal at once. Thankfully I don’t do this because I’m lazy and have very little upper body strength. And also because I am usually pretty anxious to dig in and cutting it all up takes too long. But what about you? Do you do this?
You are not supposed to put your napkin on the table when you get up. Whaaaaaa? Where in the world are you supposed to put it? They say to place it in your chair. But I say if I do that, I will come back and sit on it and by dessert I’m trying to pull a cloth out from underneath my butt. Now I ask you: which looks less polite?
You are not supposed to flag down servers when dining out. I know this. I don’t do this. This is rude. Someone tell my mother.
You are not supposed to announce that you’re going to the restroom. Uh oh. I’m gonna also assume that explaining why you have to go to the restroom is also a no-no. So, when I was at Outback Steakhouse the other day and said, “Dang, that spicy shrimp got me like…I gots to run to the bathroom,” I was out of line?
And lastly, we are not supposed to discuss important things via text or email. I’m not sure I can get behind this. I do believe that what they are saying is correct – we should address things directly, person-to-person. But I abhor confrontation and I write better than I think. So, I am guilty of doing this exactly 100% of the time. Oh, and if you text me and say “call me when you get a chance” you will never hear from me…ever, again.
The other thing the Radke Family told me: always bring flowers or wine to a dinner party, but make sure the flowers are already in a vase. No hostess wants to be cutting up flowers in her sink and hunting down a vase with a room full of people waiting on appetizers.
I don’t think we practice these kinds of things often enough. Do you? I kind of miss the days of politeness and respect and civility. Not that I plan on changing who I am in a day, but I can get behind bringing wine or flowers to a hostess (apparently, I was not supposed to bring the cake because they all told me that if the hostess doesn’t specifically ask for food then I shouldn’t bring it because it might ruin the menu. I had no idea!) Some of these habits will be hard to break – but I’m willing to try.
And I think I’ll start with announcing what food has me running to the restroom. My bad!
What about you?
Love ya. Mean it.
Melissa
Ok so in an etiquette class I took in High School (now that may have been a very long time ago) we were told that if you bring a cake on or in your own pan or cake plate you leave it weather there is cake left or not. You are not to rush the host to cover or clean the said item. But her etiquette is to bring the pan or cake plate back to you full ie... a cake for you.
I knew all these things but, like you Melissa, don't always adhere to the rules. I hate transporting food, so flowers and wine are so much easier. Did you know that how you place your silverware when you are finished eating signals to the wait staff whether or not you are done? Place your knife and fork together in the centre of the plate, pointing to twelve o'clock. This will indicate to your waiter that you have finished. It is okay to place it pointing any position on the plate as long as the utensils are parallel to each other. I have also heard the silverware should be placed in a 4 20 position, but I think that's just some stoner's idea.